Weddings With No Dinner

Can you imagine such a concept?! Believe it or not it is possible. Serving a full meal can get expensive. The most important thing to remember about your day is that you ENJOY the day you marry your soul mate.

One way to do it is to have a small intimate wedding ceremony with your immediate family and closest friends at a location that is special to you. Then host a “celebration dance for the rest of your family and friends. Members of the wedding party can still give speeches, the bouquet toss, first dances, cake cutting, etc can still happen… you just won’t serve a huge meal. Make it fun with interactive activities and lots of music.
Don’t feel guilty!

Think about what you and your fiance want. In your mind you’ve already beautifully articulated it. The idea of sharing a moment with your soon-to-be husband, all decked out and gorgeous in your finery, grinning at each other over an intimate meal, and then heading out to get caught up in the excitement of a dance-filled evening. It all sounds absolutely perfect! Indeed, from this viewpoint, your whole wedding celebration seems like it’s going to be such a nice time. So after putting your ducks in a row; all you have to do is keep them there.

You have come up with a good plan that will keep your guests happy, cared for, and well fed. Don’t let yourself worry about “the people want options” or hurt feelings, someone getting offending, or any other possibility. Choose what will make you happy then communicate that. What your guests need is for you to communicate clear expectations of your social event.

That’s the trouble of wedding planning. You want to do it all, you can’t do it all, and if you did it all, would it even end up being the wedding you wanted to have? The best you can do is create something that’s going to matter for you and your new partner, and then provide clear expectations for your friends and family: here’s what the night will be like, here’s what we’re celebrating, and here is what is NOT going to happen.

And then continue to remind yourselves, over and over, that you have crafted a thoughtful, meaningful event within the bounds of what feels right to the two of you and what you can afford.

Of course, while simultaneously holding your line, you have to make space for the hurt feelings you might encounter when folks do not like your line, and the hurt feelings you might have at their reactions—even when you know you’ve been as thoughtful and careful as you can. And that’s a lesson I suspect everyone will re-learn over and over, because it extends to way more than wedding planning.

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